FOOLISHNESS VS FOOLISHNESS

Do you have no moments, where your mood just changes, and something is bothering you, but you absolutely have no idea what is bothering you? Everything around you becomes a nuisance. The people around you seem to do nothing right in your eyes, and they became irritable in your eyes? Everything they say seems to irritate you? I realized that I was going through that this week.

I had thought it was just from the stress of everything I ran away from in Kenya, but it was a bigger problem than I had thought. I had been feeling lonely, in as much as I was spending two weeks in Tanzania with Sandy and enjoying the beautiful cool weather of Lushoto, Lutindi and Korogwe. My moodiness, pushed me to do things, I wished I had not. I found my soul, becoming darker and darker, as I tried to justify my actions, as well as what I thought was not right in a courting relationship. Little did I know I was using my knowledge, my wisdom, which we can classify as that of the world. I forgot to look to the master of wisdom.

I tried to use the knowledge of the world and my thoughts to make my actions seem ok. I tried to see no wrong in the things we were doing, but you showed me that your word is the only true source of wisdom, knowledge and understanding that we will ever have.

Your spirit left me, my heart became heavy, void of love and alone. I began to see negativity in everything, just because I made a choice to let you go. I realized that I cannot survive on my own.

Earthly wisdom is foolishness full of pain, sorrow and regret. After I have tested the true wisdom (heavenly wisdom), I was able to differentiate the two wisdoms. Heavenly wisdom, gives you joy from within. It lights up your face and leaves a glow, making you feel like you’re flying and can’t touch the ground.

Earthly wisdom leaves you moody, filthy, sick in the stomach and defensive. You give no room to anyone in your heart, but you alone. You think only about you and before you know it, you are pushing away the ones you love and who matter to you.

The world tells you that you are doing nothing wrong. You allow yourself to do as the world said. At the end of the day, you find yourself fighting against what you are doing and not able to find a way out, you realize your stupidity and feel lost. You want to go back to the joy you had before, but are feeling very unworthy.

You want to scream your heart out and give up everything because you feel like you do not deserve that joy and happiness, since you gave it up in the first place.

Let me let you in on a secret.

The prodigal son in Luke 15:11-31, is not just a good old story. That is the love of a father who is always ready to have his child back. He loves you too much to cast you away. You cast yourself away, when you do not return to him to tell him you want to come home and to admit you were wrong in thinking you could do things on your own.